A March In Memory

This March has come in like a lion and is still roaring. I was initially going to write about "the March of the Parents," how my mom and step-dad drove down for a few days, and then Brian's parents came just last weekend to stay with us to see Rachel's performance as Mrs. Peterson in "Bye Bye Birdie." And then I was going to write about the Vagina Monologue performances and the five stages of VM cast bonding, but we became busy again prepping for the Bergeron family visit and Rachel's play. Before our Saturday night VM performance, Rachel and I spent the afternoon costume shopping for vintage hats and tacky garden party dresses for her character. So much fun. So much theatre! As Brian put it, when asked if he likes going to see plays, "I've spent five nights in the last seven days in a theatre. What do you think."

But between all the excitement, there has been a steady undertone of sadness and suffering. Brian's closest friend passed away on the Ides of March, ending the chapter on a valiant battle against pancreatic cancer. He would have been 62 next month. Nothing I write will be as poignant as what Brian has already written below.

Friends, If you have not already heard, I am sorry to inform you that my dear friend, Murray Kellar, passed away on Sunday, 15 March. Murray was diagnosed with Pancreatic Cancer this past summer and fought a good fight until last month when he finally experienced Liver failure. Murray made the choice to die at home with his family under the care of hospice. Dolly and his family were with him till the end and he was/is surrounded by love and affection. Murray was lucid and even funny at times till the last few days of his illness and was able to enjoy many visits and notes from loved ones. Dolly has asked that should anyone be inclined, to please donate to the American Cancer Society in Murray's name, in lieu of flowers. A memorial service will be held this week at the VA Chapel where he served as Director of Dental Services and Hospital Dentist, following his military career. I will try and forward the memorial service details as soon as available. Dolly is currently overwhelmed as you can imagine, but holding up well considering the circumstances. Should you wish to share condolences, written letters/cards might be most appropriate, at least until the memorial service has been held and things have settled down a bit for her and the family. Please pass the information along to anyone who might have been inadvertently missed, especially those who have retired from his USAF, VA, or Hospital Dentistry families. Thanks to all of you for being good to Murray and his family in their time of need. Please tell someone close to you that you love them; and if you can make them smile or even laugh in honor of Murray...Lord knows he did that for all of us on a regular basis.
God Bless,
Brian

*****
The memorial service was yesterday, and the chapel at the V.A. Hospital was packed wall to wall. Brian gave one of the eulogies, and in five minutes, had the entire room laughing, crying, remembering and celebrating a life well lived.

Our thoughts and prayers continue to be with his loving family.

Visit the guest book link above to get a taste of the legacy of heart and humor that we will all miss so dearly. http://www.legacy.com/sunherald/GB/GuestbookView.aspx?PersonId=125207832

Or read the comment below, Murray's response to my story in the Anchorage Daily News Paper about pre-wedding dance lessons:
(original story: http://www.adn.com/life/story/423619.html)

Battle Cry for the Bachelor
Posted: June 2, 2008 - 11:22 am
Submitted by Murray Kellar, a "Concerned Friend" of the Fiancé, (In response to 5/25 posting, FACE THE MUSIC AND LEARN TO DANCE)
I've watched enough science fiction flics to know that you are not the "Real Brian." I also know that by speaking out like this, your alien friends will be swooping down on me before I've even finished this memo. Too late Yoda. I anticipated your moves and am already gone. You'll never catch me, and I'm going to discover your weakness and hunt you down like the dogs you are for what you've done to the Real Brian. Do you think all humans are idiots? I know Brian would never take dance lessons. Brian is (was) a man and he played golf and poker and had guns and stuff... "Dance lessons"...??!! Do your homework next time, Mr. Spock, before you try to pull one over on good ole homo sapiens. I'm outta here, but you'd better be looking over your shoulders or tentacles or whatever passes for a head in your slimy world, cause me and the boys are comin' for Brian, and we'll be using the "Raid" on any of your insectoid vermin who gits in our way!!!!

Here was Murray's response when he found out his comment was posted to my blog:
Musta been a pretty slow news er "blog" day... Well let me know if you need any other good blogs. I once caughta fish and have been thinking of writing a book on fishing techniques.